Not all enemies are created equal. Depending on who your enemy is and the nature of your relationship, you need to learn more about how they work before you can learn to defeat them.[1] Nemeses are like the opposite version of you. You'll find nemeses at work, at school, and in other situations where you're paired with like-minded similar people. Everything tells you that you should be friends with your nemesis—you've got similar interests, goals, and hobbies—but you just don't get along. Your nemesis is the oil to your water. Frenemies are friends that you don't like. Well don't ever be friends with your enemy, not even frenemies. But when you're hanging out, she doesn't ever stop bragging. Frenemies are irritating, toxic, and a real downer. Enemies are tough. From the classroom to the workplace, enemies are serious threats to your ability to get through the day. An enemy is someone who thinks you're taking their popularity, so they hate you and always win at everything.
The old adage is true—if you keep your friends close, keep your enemy closer. If you want to vanquish your enemy, you've got to learn how they win at everything. That means talking with your enemy, watching your enemy, and learning everything you can about the way your enemy thinks.[2] Many bullies, frenemies, and other kinds of enemies operate from a place of jealousy. Often, enemies will pick on things that they have anxiety about in their own life. If you're being picked on about one thing, it might be because your enemy has anxiety about the same thing or they just want to be mean and embarrass you. Enemies also hate people they view as threats. In the workplace or at competitive schools—any time competition is involved—enemies will seek to eliminate you from winning. That means you're in a bad position.
Analyzing the way your enemy antagonizes you will help you plan a way of getting back. Who does your enemy associate with? What are your enemy's interests? What does your enemy want? Learn what motivates your enemy and what your enemy is struggling with on a personal level. What is your enemy's home life like? Where does your enemy come from? Do some research and answer these questions.[3]
Every enemy has a weakness, no matter how strong they seem when they're putting you on their heels. Finding that weakness will be essential to planning your revenge and getting your enemy humiliated. Some common enemy weaknesses are: Hubris. Just like in the ancient Greek stories, excessive pride can lead to the downfall of many enemies. If you've got a braggy, boastful enemy, being put in a position of embarrassment will be devastating for this enemy. Good revenge might mean setting your enemy up for some public embarrassment or failure. Confidence. Many bullies are really just big babies who have no self-confidence or belief in their own abilities. Lots of bullies are really just looking for companionship and friends, because they feel undervalued and unloved. These types of bullies might respond better to a kinder tactic. Competitiveness. Many enemies are hyper-competitive jerks who've allowed their love of winning to overcome other considerations, like human decency and kindness. Learning to disengage and freeze these enemies out is the best way of handling them and disarming their ability to torment you. If you don't play, they can't win.
You should never let your enemy provoke you into a physical altercation, but some enemies are set in their ways and force your hand. You'll be able to be much more confident in your ability to move through your day-to-day if you know you'll be able to handle any situation that arises. Don't move around in fear. Get prepared.[11] Most fights are over very quickly. Learning to properly form and throw a punch will make sure that you don't make a valuable movie mistake if the situation calls for it, so you'll be able to throw a high-probability punch accurately and end the fight sooner rather than later.[12]
Make a fist by wrapping your fingers into your hand firmly, but not so tight you cut off the circulation. Wrap your thumb around the bottom of your knuckles, not around your index finger and not inside your fingers.
- -Extend the middle knuckle of your middle finger slightly. This is where your fist should make contact, not your big knuckle, where your fingers connect to your hands.
- -Punch in a straight line, keeping your elbows in and throwing linear punches, not big circular haymakers. There's a lot more power in a straight jab than in a big swing.
- -Aim for the nose, the neck, or the stomach. Punching someone in the jaw, cheek, or forehead will end up hurting you more. Aim for soft spots and swing hard.
Try not to fall down under any circumstances, or take the fight to the ground. Standing up for yourself with a quick fist-fight is sometimes the best way to deal with a tough situation, if your enemy pushes you into it, but a fight that ends up wrestling around on the ground is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.
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